Why the Pope Hates the Condom

„Nun sag, wie hast du’s mit der Religion? Du bist ein herzlich guter Mann, allein ich glaub, du hältst nicht viel davon.“– Gretchen, Faust: The First Part of the Tragedy

In J. W. von Goethe's Faust, innocent Gretchen is seduced by Heinrich Faust, a depressed nihilist scholar in business with the devil.
Before she gives in, she asks him a question of vital importance for aroused Gretchen: "Now tell me, how do you take religion?".
Here is why it matters:

1. She has a 'significant apriori' probability of getting pregnant during intercourse
2. Her benefit if she becomes pregnat has to be differentiated:
1. If Heinrich marries her, she takes the social lift to upper bourgeoisie 
2. If Heinrich lets her down. Big big trouble for her: social decline, economic free fall.
3. Her benefit if not getting pregnant: a sweet night with Mr. Right.

So pious Gretel makes the famous litmus test known as Gretchenfrage: "Now tell me, how do you take religion?"
What can lush Dr. Faust do?

1. Consume, hope for the best, and walk away if she is pregnant
2. Marry her if she is pregnant.
3. Getting a cold shower, immediately!

Gretchen tries to hedge against 1.) with this question. Now if Faust is not religious and wants to get laid tonight, he has to cheat.
We have modeled a game that can be analyzed with Decision-trees and Bayesian Networks. I made an Influence Diagram with some speculative guesses on the value system of each character

The overall equilibrium of the Gretchen decision problem (with some bold guesses).
To maximize total benefit of all actors, Faust should withdraw. But cheating is a priori the best for him.

You knew it: the story ends in misery and grief.
The underlying assumption though, is thrilling: with Gretchenfrage, Religion resembles an insurance against the negative consequences of a unwanted pregnancy. God would punish Faust for his debaucheries, a faithful Faust therefore will not let her down, Gretchen expects.

Game theory comes into play. Religion acts as a trust warranter to find a equilibrium that allows intercourse. Without the religious contract of matrimony, no sexy time - to speak with Borat. It minimizes the chance of Gretchen losing.

The church as an institution becomes a central role in the mating game. Becoming the guarantor of sex means big power and influence. But the influence came to be threatened.

Reliable contraceptives, developed in the 20th century, wiped away the need for church in order to fuck. Its like the atomic bomb was thrown over Vatican state. Now, is it sensible that the pope hates the condom or not?

Miss Atomic Bomb, 

from the decade when the contraceptive bomb hit the church